Winter Isolation

Well I got homesick for the first time tonight. I don't know if you'd really call it that, I just really miss my friends right now. It snowed, and the snow stayed on the ground. The first conversation I had with my best friend was about snow ball fights so this really makes me think about her and all the good times we had. And of course that now we're over 17 hours away from each other and not going to see each other until April.

With my friends back home we would fool around in the first snowfall. We wouldn't care if we looked like children, we didn't care what people thought of us. We did whatever we wanted, and I miss that.

I’d rather stand on the edge of a cliff

And hang my toes over a bit,

And then jump when they dare me,

Even if it scares me and I get hurt.

I’d rather build my wings on the way down,

Do my best not to fall to the ground

and than laugh at my mistakes

‘cause there only lessons I’ll learn

--Paul Brandt

I feel as though I am changing, which is of course expected. It makes me worry about my friends back home. When I go back in April, will it be like I never left? I talk with my best friend almost every day but I miss hanging out, shopping, goofing around and just being ourselves. I haven't found any one here who I can act around them as I do with her. I worry that I will have changed too much for our friendship to survive. And that scares me because of how much she means to me.

People say that the friends you make in University are the friends you have for life. I believe I found my life long friends in high school and I don't want to lose them. I don't regret going so far from them for schooling, I needed the distance from everything else. I don't know how I'll make it four years with hardly seeing them, without having someone like them here.